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【勉】邓肯历险记——倒霉的一天

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好了...这个之前一直忘记发到贴吧上来了.....还有三篇邓肯历险记今天一并更上来,大家看着玩,可以提高一下英语写作技巧哦= -=


IP属地:新加坡1楼2014-09-06 07:43回复
    An Unlucky Day(Duncan’sfriends-Tom & Jerry
    “What anunlucky day!”Jerry said to himself,every single day!
    Jerry was a teenager who always complained that fate was so cruel to him and anything or anybody never became good to him.He woke up every day with the same sentence---as I said before.
    So let us see how unlucky one day Jerry was.First,he stayed up playing computer games very late last night,as a result he woke up at 8:00 a.m.---even though he knew therewas going to be a test the next day.
    Of course he got to(arrived) school late and was criticized badly by his teacher---he complained about it.He felt so exhausted that he could not focus on the testpaper.Besides,he was not good at studying and he didn’t review what would be tested the next day.Therefore,he failed in the test and got criticized by histeacher again---he complained about it.He was going to school in such a hurry and left his money for lunch.He wanted to borrow some money from his classmates,but no one did because Jerry had not helped anyone before and had no friends---he complained about it.After school Jerry went back home with his hollow stomach.When he arrived at the door of his home,he suddenly found that he also left the key in the house---he complained about it.His mother told him to take an umbrella but he concentrated on his game so much that he didn’t hear it.The weather report said it was going to rain and it really poured dogs andcats then.Jerry could do nothing but stand in the pouring rain---he complained about it.
    After the heavyrain,Jerry said,once again:
    “What anunlucky day!”
    Just then,a boy called Tom passed by,eating a banana.When he devoured it up,he threw the skin in the street,just in front of him.Tom didn’t notice it and he slipped.This boyalso complained bout this.
    Seeing this picture,Jerry laughed aloud at Tom.
    “He just deserves that,how could he complain?”
    Jerry kept laughing and laughing,almost forgot “his unlucky day”.
    “Wait a minute……”
    Suddenly,Jerry stopped laughing and realized something.


    IP属地:新加坡2楼2014-09-06 07:43
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      “我今天太倒霉了!”杰瑞自言自语到,天天如此!
      杰瑞这个男孩总是抱怨命运对他不公,身边所有的人和事看着都不顺眼。他每天早晨醒来都说同一句话——之前已经提到了…
      那,咱们来看看杰瑞今天有多倒霉吧!首先,他前一天晚上熬夜玩电脑,结果他这天早上8点才醒过来——尽管他明知第二天有个考试。
      当然了,他上学迟到被老师劈头盖脸骂了一顿——他为此而抱怨。他无精打采浑身难受,根本写不下去卷子。而且,他学习本来就不咋好,还没复习要考的内容。因此,他考试不及格又让老师骂了一顿——他又抱怨。他出家门的时候太匆忙了,把他午饭钱落家了。他想跟他同学借点钱,但是杰瑞以前从未帮助过别人,他也没朋友,自然也没人借他钱咯——他还抱怨。放学之后,杰瑞拖着空虚的肚子回家去。当他走到门口的时候,他突然发现他把钥匙也落家了——他仍然在抱怨。他妈妈告诉他带着雨伞,但是他当时聚精会神地玩电脑根本听不到他妈妈说什么。天气预报说今天要下雨,结果就在那时候妥妥的下了大暴雨。杰瑞无能为力只能站在这瓢泼大雨中——他不断地抱怨……
      大雨之后,杰瑞,再一次说:
      “我今天太倒霉了!“
      就在那时,一个叫做汤姆的男孩路过,正在吃香蕉。他扒完了皮,就把皮扔在了道上,就在他正前方。汤姆还没看着把皮扔哪了,一下子就滑到了。这个男孩也开始抱怨。
      看到眼前这场景,杰瑞都笑出声了。
      “不作死就不会死,他抱怨个毛啊!“
      杰瑞笑啊笑笑啊笑,都快忘了“他今天有多不幸”了。
      “诶,等等……”
      突然,杰瑞的笑容僵住了,他好像明白了什么- -……


      IP属地:新加坡3楼2014-09-06 07:43
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        Alan老师不知道怎么的,把我第四段那个got to改成arrived,结构也不对啊,但是他就这么改了= =我也不敢多说啥,老师反正说写作文能用稍微高端点的词就别用口语里面经常说的词-.-…这篇文章当时看晚自习的Maggie老师也看了,说写的还不错= =Alan老师打分是内容17/20分,语言是7/10分,总分24/30分。别看24分低,已经是我这渣渣写作的巅峰了!= =


        IP属地:新加坡4楼2014-09-06 07:44
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          这篇文章写的吧,本来也是邓肯,但无奈某人非要让我把他写进来,于是乎邓肯和一个不知名的男孩变成了杰瑞和一个叫汤姆的男孩(老弟你躺枪吧= -=~~)。总体语言没什么太大亮点,不过也可以进行借鉴。这篇文章我自己最满意之处在于内容的安排,西方小说作家有很多喜欢以讽刺之笔结束全文,大家也可以学一下,会有意想不到的收获哦!


          IP属地:新加坡5楼2014-09-06 07:44
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            汤姆和杰瑞。。噗


            IP属地:广东来自Android客户端7楼2014-09-20 13:40
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              楼主!!!你还渣渣的写作?!还能愉快的玩耍吗?!


              8楼2014-10-04 19:16
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                特么欺负我英语水平渣渣,英语的没看懂 (๑ŐдŐ)b


                9楼2014-10-04 19:16
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