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【勉】邓肯历险记——亲爱的艾连娜

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这次是本人写作的巅峰水准,虽然评分不太高....我可以告诉你这是一个悲伤的故事= =


IP属地:新加坡1楼2014-09-06 07:54回复
    Describe a person who inspired you.
    Elena, my secret lover, I miss you so badly. Your rolling hair and bonfire heart cannot disappear in my mind……
    If I knew it was the last time that I could hold you in my arms, I would never let you go.You just don’t know what makes you beautiful---the love light in your eyes. I get amazed every time when I see your eyes. Besides, I have been addicted to you. I shared your dream, shared your bed, I know you well and I know your smell. I changed myself and all my goals just because of you. It may sound incredible,but I think I cannot live without you.
    You will go onyour ways, and I shall leave on mine, we both know that. But as you move on,remember me, remember us and all we used to be. It feels just like yesterday when I held your hands, walking in the quiet street. “We are young, we are shy,and some words would never be said.” How stupid I was! I spoke up first to break the silence, but beginning with such a sentence. You were a little older than me, and sometimes you were just like a big sister to me. You just smiled to me without a word. Yes, I made you wait for like a thousand years, but I just didn’t have the courage to say “I love you, Elena.” Even neither did I at that time. Yes, I did disappoint you and let you down, I should be feeling guilty and let the God frown. I guess I won’t have the chance to express how I feel about you, and I will never find someone like you among so many people all around the world. Your sweet voice, your soft lips, your warm shoulder and your skin, all let me write the essay with tears……
    Goodbye, Elena.I guess I will leave, far away from you for a long time. If you see me,somebody that you used to know in the crowd someday, please bat and give me a hug……


    IP属地:新加坡2楼2014-09-06 07:54
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      这篇文章…内容本来是要写 aperson who inspired you,那个inspired应该翻译成鼓励,也就是鼓励过你的人,结果吧,老弟坑队友= =我问他他说应该翻译成给你灵感的人(确实也有这个意思,但当时Alan解释我没听= -=…),于是乎,这样一篇旷世之作完成了!Alan老师第二天也真给面子,说:“这篇作文是要写鼓励你的人,你得理解标题的意思啊,结果咱班有个男生,我不点名了,竟然写了暗恋的人!诶诶,别笑!严肃的,你要是不理解标题意思直接就没分了……”可能有出入,但大概就是这么个意思,结果很愉快地给了我内容9/20分语言7/10分(语言还算比较满意= -=)=总分16分……


      IP属地:新加坡4楼2014-09-06 07:55
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        文章本来没有标题,后来根据内容加了个Dear Elena。个人点评一下吧,这文章真不是写暗恋的人,也是以鄙人平生的第一个女朋友为主线,添以各种真实或虚构的剧情,写的这么一篇抒情文章。常听英文歌的朋友应该能看出,这篇文章很多地方都是歌词(或者说是歌词凑出来的一篇文章…),不过进行适当的引用确实能为语言增色不少。最后,还得说一句老弟你坑队友!= =当时写完了给他看,他看了一半看不下去了,有那么感人么= -=……


        IP属地:新加坡5楼2014-09-06 07:55
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