很短的，帮我汉译英就好了

我英语不好，但我有强大的软件wp独占哦
———文思如尿崩，谁与我争锋 Fail to command the urethra by self the urinate for a long time.

我要看笑话

昨天晚上我为了增加学识，误加入一个博士群里。见到有一个人提问：一滴水从很高很高的地方自由落体下来，砸到人会不会砸伤?或砸死？
群里一下就热闹起来，各种公式，各种假设，各种阻力，重力，加速度的讨论，足足讨论了近一个小时。
这时，我默默的问了一句：你们没有淋过雨吗？？？
群里，突然死

群里，突然死一般的寂静......
然后，然后我就被踢出群了。
———文思如尿崩，谁与我争锋 Fail to command the urethra by self the urinate for a long time.

= =虽然英语一般般但是想帮帮你

我是来看中文笑话的

原文：一天一只兔子遇到了狼，狼打了兔子一个耳光，说:谁让你不戴帽子。第二天兔子带了帽子，狼又打了他一耳光，说:谁让你戴帽子。兔子觉得很委屈就去找森林之王老虎告状。老虎知道后很气愤，答应帮助兔子。可是老虎和狼也是好朋友，老虎就给狼出了个主意，说:你可以换个方法整他，你让他给你找块肉，找来瘦的就说你要肥的，找来肥的你就说要瘦的。或者让他给你找些硬币，找来铜板就说你要金币，找来金币就说你要铜板。狼高兴的答应了。可是刚巧被兔子路过听到，兔子很生气。第二天兔子遇到了狼，狼说:兔子，给我找块肉。兔子说:你要瘦的还是肥的？狼大吃一惊，于是又说:兔子，去给我找些硬币。兔子说:你要金币还是铜板？狼什么震惊自己的诡计被识破了。于是他打了兔子一耳光然后说:谁让你今天不带帽子

原文：冰箱里有两个西红柿，一天，一个西红柿问另外一个:老兄，你冷不冷呀？另一个西红柿不理他。他又问了一遍:老兄你冷不冷呀？！另一个西红柿还是不讲话。他很生气，再次问到:问什么不理我呀！你到底冷不冷嘛！终于，另一个西红柿看着他:咦，我们是西红柿，我们怎么会说话

是以前讲过的老笑话

好厉害的样子

One day a rabbit met wolves, Wolf hit a rabbit face and said: who let you do not wear a hat. The next day the rabbit with Hat, Wolf and hit

One day a rabbit met wolves, Wolf hit a rabbit face and said: who let you do not wear a hat. The next day the rabbit with Hat, Wolf and hit him in the face and said: who told you to wear a hat. Bunny feel aggrieved to find the King of the forest the tiger heads. Tigers know that anger, promised to help rabbits. But Tigers and wolves are also good friends, Tiger to Wolf had an idea, said: you can change the way the whole him, you let him get you meat, found thin and then said you have to be fat, fat you say have to be skinny to be found. Or let him find you some coins, find copper and said you have to gold, find coins and say you want to laminate. Wolf happily agreed. But you happen to be passing by heard the rabbit, rabbit angry. The next day the rabbit encountered a Wolf, Wolf said, rabbits, and find me a piece of meat. The rabbit said: you have to be skinny or FAT? Wolf was shocked, and said: rabbits, go get me some coins. Rabbit says: you want a coin or a penny? Wolf What shocked their ruse was discovered. Then he hit a rabbit in the face and said: who are you today without a hat