Can you change your personality significantly? For example, if you are shy, can you turn yourself into an extrovert who never gets stage fright when speaking in public?
It’s certainly not easy, but experts say it is possible.
First of all, you will never stay the same person. The Wall Street Journal reports several research studies conducted over the past few years show a person’s personality naturally changes over time in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in your career.
From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable. Their personalities improve as they mature.
When researchers talk about “personality”, they mean a “characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,” says Christopher Soto, a researchpsychologist at Colby College in Maine, US. Soto told The Wall Street Journal that personality is about 50 percent innate and 50 percent learned.
Psychologists usually use the Big Five personality model. According to this model, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains — openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism and extroversion.
Some personality types are more successful than others. Soto says people who are more conscientioustend to do better in the workplace and school. People who score high on agreeableness and low onneuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts do better in social andentrepreneurial occupations.
Time is key.
According to Soto, even small changes in a person’s personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness. But change takes time.
“You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,” Soto says.
Where do you start? “First, we have to recognize which pieces of our personality affect us,” says Richard Levak, a well-known personality expert who often appears in US TV programs. “If I am always getting fired because I get into arguments with co-workers and always blame others, then I have to realize that I have to change something,” he says.
Don’t set your expectations too high. Be patient. Warren Kennaugh, a behavioral strategist in Sydney, Australia, says it’s important to start small. Identify a first step and then practice it without worrying about the initial results. “It’s like learning to kick a football, you focus on the steps, not whether it goes in the goal,” The Wall Street Journal quoted him as saying.
You should also let the people close to you know what you’re doing. “Not only can they be supportive,” Kennaugh says, “but a change for you can also mean a change for them — one they may not want or be ready for, if they aren’t told beforehand.”
It’s certainly not easy, but experts say it is possible.
First of all, you will never stay the same person. The Wall Street Journal reports several research studies conducted over the past few years show a person’s personality naturally changes over time in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in your career.
From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable. Their personalities improve as they mature.
When researchers talk about “personality”, they mean a “characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,” says Christopher Soto, a researchpsychologist at Colby College in Maine, US. Soto told The Wall Street Journal that personality is about 50 percent innate and 50 percent learned.
Psychologists usually use the Big Five personality model. According to this model, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains — openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism and extroversion.
Some personality types are more successful than others. Soto says people who are more conscientioustend to do better in the workplace and school. People who score high on agreeableness and low onneuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts do better in social andentrepreneurial occupations.
Time is key.
According to Soto, even small changes in a person’s personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness. But change takes time.
“You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,” Soto says.
Where do you start? “First, we have to recognize which pieces of our personality affect us,” says Richard Levak, a well-known personality expert who often appears in US TV programs. “If I am always getting fired because I get into arguments with co-workers and always blame others, then I have to realize that I have to change something,” he says.
Don’t set your expectations too high. Be patient. Warren Kennaugh, a behavioral strategist in Sydney, Australia, says it’s important to start small. Identify a first step and then practice it without worrying about the initial results. “It’s like learning to kick a football, you focus on the steps, not whether it goes in the goal,” The Wall Street Journal quoted him as saying.
You should also let the people close to you know what you’re doing. “Not only can they be supportive,” Kennaugh says, “but a change for you can also mean a change for them — one they may not want or be ready for, if they aren’t told beforehand.”
