After that album Barlow was, more or less, kicked out of Dinosaur Jr., and went on to explore the nice guy archetype in depth, adding real pathos to the patheticness, struggling to be less passive aggressive, failing, then trying again, or as he said in Sebadoh's "Willing to Wait", "I'm willing to wait my turn to be with you/ But I still have a lot to learn about me." Though Rivers Cuomo introduced himself to world by describing, in detail, how a girl should act if she wants to date him and then threw himself an epic pity party when that didn't work out, and on the last truly great song he'll ever release, conceded, "I guess you're as real as me/ Maybe I can live with that," which, contextually, was pretty generous of him. Then there was a metric fuckton of backsliding from him later, but that's for a different essay.
在那之后，Barlow多少有点被Dinosaur Jr.开除的意味。然后，他独自深度挖掘了好男孩这一风格，悲伤到不能自已，然后试图不要太自暴自弃，然后失败了，然后接着试。就像他在Sebadoh的Willing to Wait里唱的那样：“我在等待机会和你在一起/但我现在还不了解我自己。”Rivers Cuomo在向全世界介绍自己时，描述了女孩应该如何表现出想跟他约会的样子；如果这还不奏效，就给他开个盛大的同情派对吧。在他发行的最后一首好歌里，他终于承认：“也许你就像我一样真实/也许我可以接受这一现实。”这句词联系上下文来看，相当大方了。然后他的事业线就直线下滑，这是另一个话题了。
*Rivers Cuomo是Weezer乐队主唱，最后一首好歌指Pinkerton中最后一首歌Butterfly。

In the nice guy world, the object of affection, usually a woman, but sometimes, as in hit songs by Paramore or Taylor Swift, a dude, isn't really a person. They're a prize that the narrator thinks they've already won for being such a swell person and not like the rest of the jerks. If only they would see. Along with an aggressive level of entitlement, this is what separates a Nice Guy™ song from a good old fashioned unrequited love ballad. When you're asking someone to take a chance on you, you're acknowledging that they have a right to choose.
在好男孩的世界里，令人喜欢的东西是什么？他们通常说是女人，Paramore和Taylor Swift的热门歌曲里说是花花公子，但说的这些，其实都不是一个真人。它们只是，这些陈述者认为凭借他们的优良品质已经获得的嘉奖。希望他们能明白吧。以上所述，加上对道德规则的痴迷，就是这些好男孩™歌曲和老式单相思情歌的不同之处。当你在要求别人给你一个机会时，你是承认他们有选择权的。

And I say that as a person who, in another life, was responsible for no small amount of very public, very performative sighing. There was a time I would use the term friend zone with some regularity, and I might have had a chip on my shoulder about that. I might have, and I'm not confirming this, I'm just saying that I might have done this, wondered aloud why no one understood me. Turns out, a lot people understood quite well that self-pity isn't as charismatic as one might think. It is embarrassing to see yourself diagnosed in an entry on Tiger Beatdown, but growing the fuck up is tough on all of us. At least I didn't rap about my feelings.
说了这么多，其实我也是曾经在公开场合表演好男孩式叹气的人。有一段时间我经常用“朋友圈”这个词，并对它充满嫉妒。我可能有过这种时候（我也不确定，只是说可能），我大声惊问，为什么没有人理解我？后来我才发现，很多人都清楚自我怜悯并没有那么酷，当你在Tiger Beatdown的某篇文章上被诊断出有病，真的是太尴尬了，但成长就是这么痛苦啊。还好，至少我没把我当时的感受rap出来过。

As much of us reformed Nice Guys™ learn, relationships aren't a game you win, and they only work when you're willing to accept a person as they are, in all their complex mess, and you're willing to offer yourself up exactly as you are, no matter how broken, and let them make the call.
通过此次好男孩™小课堂的学习，我们知道了建立关系不是去赢得一场比赛，只有你完完全全接受对方本来的样子，他的复杂混乱的人格体系，而你也愿意展现你本来的面貌，破败不堪的面貌，并把主动权交给对方，这种关系才能得以建立。
One of the scariest things everyone one day realizes is there's just no life hack that lets you bypass this step, and that's why some boys would rather complain that no one is playing the game fair. Getting called out on their entitlement is something a lot of dudes don't want to hear, but someone needs to tell them. It's the nice thing to do.
最可怕的事情是，没有人生黑客能帮你跳过这一步，这也是有些男孩抱怨没有人公平竞争的原因。当好男孩喊出他们的游戏规则的时候，很多坏男孩不想听，但应该有人来告诉他该怎么做。这是莫大的善举。
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