忘说了．．．翻译只有MAD的部分...(逃)

看到楼主的努力真的很羡慕这篇文的原作者，不仅有人自愿送上插图和MAD，还有帮助全球推广……写文能到如此地步已经是一种幸福。我也正在酝酿一片长露中文，如果能受到此等礼遇，就是三生有幸了。虽然不是全然认同原作者的一些写法，但是有几句话还是很使我震动的。干些如此认真的楼主。但愿我的文也能收到大家的喜欢吧。
被楼主的认真所感动，我看了一下楼主的英文翻译。我的英文也不好，但是还是斗胆对楼主的英文翻译做出了一点修改，其中可能也有错误，只是表达我对楼主的敬佩罢了。

1. Alfred has gone to talk to you and I will lose you, is that right?
1. Alfred has gone to you. I will lose you. Is that right?
总觉得短句会在表达上更有力度。

2. I won’t agree. It doesn’t matter that all of them go away, but only you must stay.
2. It cannot be. It doesn’t matter that all of them go away, except you.
同样的原因

3. I won’t belong to anyone, and I have never been a possession of yours.
3. I will not belong to anyone, or you.
相同的意思还是尽量表达简约一点。去掉缩写会给人更坚定的感觉吧（我瞎说的）

4. My name is Wang Yao, which has already lasted five thousand years, and it won’ change for the next five thousand years.
4. My name is Wang Yao, which has already lasted for five thousand years, and won’t be changed even for another five hundred decades.
同样的“五千年”的表达方法重复了两次，所以改了一下，同样的主语也删掉了一个……不知道楼主觉得是否妥当

5. Just like a moth flying towards fire...How stupid.
5. Seeking its own doom…How stupid.
飞蛾扑火这个成语是不是太字面翻译了？我不确定英语这个成语是不是就是这样直接翻译，所以意译了。

6. Wang Yao, we shall keep going forward, to a place where there is warm sunshine and golden sunflowers can be seen; we are encircled and that’s the most beautiful place.
6. Wang Yao, we shall keep going , to a place where there is warm sunshine and golden sunflowers can be seen; we were encircled with the beauty. That surely would be the most splendid place.
”我们被包围“似乎表达的不大确切（个人意见），所以加了”景色“。不知道此处虚拟语气是否用对了，觉得应该加个虚拟语气。最后一句断开，能换口气。

我就写了这些，希望楼主不要以为我越俎代庖。很佩服楼主的英文能力。
不要忘记向原作者和mad作者要授权啊！
以上只是个人意见，仅供参考。能帮上忙是我最大的荣幸

对了，楼主再赢文档中使用的缩写符号都是中文当中的’，如果不嫌麻烦就请用英文输入法输入'吧。

真详细呢，云桑的注解。=v=
就我而言感到深深的感动……

个人意见
It doesn’t matter that all of them go away, except you.
这句有点chi-english
可以改成：
Everyone can leave me but you。

14 回复：【露中】再见，1991（原作天洛水）汉译英（全球推广！）
个人意见
It doesn’t matter that all of them go away, except you.
这句有点chi-english
可以改成：
Everyone can leave me but you。
-----------------------------------
我觉得这句没有chi-english．．．改了之后反而打乱了原文，原文有强调“也没关系（只要你在）”有隐含“让步”之意，所以个人认为要用It doesn’t matter这种形式主语句来强调。

英语里有飞蛾扑火的典故
见雪莱的一首诗……读过的亲们都知道吧……
（就是懒得引原文了）