6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！
b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
XXOO就象打桥牌。 如果对手不好使，自己的手必须好使。
9、 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
有些人就像 Slinkies （弹簧玩具），没什么实在用处，但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是：他们都很有规律地被替换，而且因为同一个理由——脏了！！

11、War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
a. 女人的G潮可能是装出来的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是装出来的！
b. 女人假装G潮以获取真实的感情；男人假装感情以获取真实的G潮。
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
我们永远不可能真正的成熟，我们只是学会在众人面前装丨B。
14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
男人就两种状态：饿 和 X饥渴。 要是他不硬，就给他个三明治
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
曾以为我想要的是职业，结果发现我只是想要工资。
18、If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活,那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~


19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
XXOO并不是结论而是个问题…爽不爽才是答案…
20、Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你你为什么好不了。
21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
直译：一根火柴能点着整片森林，一盒火柴也生不起个营火，这咋回事！
意译：想当年哥戴套都能让人怀孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科
22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
如果4/5的人在忍受腹泻的痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事？很享受吗？
23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
直译：知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果；智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。
意译a：知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子，智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。
意译b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后，但智慧告诉你这终还是男女有别~
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧！
25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
无论，在任何情况下，永远，不要在一个夜晚，同时吃，安眠药，和通便灵。


37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
a. 我知道没人在我脑子里跟我聊天，但那些话真TM有用！
意译：我幻想的低吟不一定是真的，但足够让我意淫
38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
a. 无愧于心哈？记性不好吧？
意译b： 自从那次在人妖身边醒来，每次去夜店我都提醒自己“一定要戴眼镜……”
c. 意识清醒了，意味着不堪回首了。
39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
a. 所谓的好姑娘，咳！就是还没被群众抓到的JP女·····
b. 想立牌坊就得会装
40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
临危忽然微笑的那谁，定是找到替罪羊鸟~
41、 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
如果女人能做到以秃顶和啤酒肚在大街上晃还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等。
42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。
43、The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
圣诞老人当然美，他知道所有YD妞住哪儿啊！
44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
剽窃一个人的叫剽窃，剽窃许多人的叫研究。
意译：窃钩者诛，窃国者为诸侯。


10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
这句真有意思

- - 就您回复了

我也回复！！！

太多，表示很多单词不懂的干活