最近开始读魔戒,发现了不少值得商榷的翻译问题。这里记录一下
◉楔子
-----------------
Before the crossing of the mountains the Hobbits had already become divided into three somewhat different breeds: Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallohides.
霍比特人在翻越山脉之前,已经分化成三个略有区别的族群:毛脚族、斯图尔族和白肤族。毛脚族肤色较深,体型更小也更矮,他们没有胡须,不穿鞋子,手脚整洁又敏捷,偏爱高地和山丘。斯图尔族体型更宽,身体更强壮,手脚也都更大,偏爱平地和河畔。白肤族肤色更加白皙,发色更浅,比另外两族更高,也苗条一些,热爱树木和林地。
《〈魔戒〉名称指南》要求Harfoots和Fallohides意译,Stoors音译,不过这样看起来体例不统一了。
Stoors. Name of a third kind of hobbit, of heavier build. This is early E. star, stoor 'large, strong', now obsolete. Since it is thus supposed to be a special hobbit-word not current in CS, it need not be translated, and may be represented by a more or less 'phonetic' spelling according to the LT use of letters. But an archaic or dialectal word of this sense in the LT would also be acceptable.
其实《名称指南》也没有坚持一定要音译,说了用古语或方言意译也可接受。不妨译成彊壮族、健躯族之类。这样三个族群的名称都能对应其特征。
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which they called pipe-weed or leaf, a variety probably of Nicotiana.
这种药草他们称作烟斗草或烟叶,很可能是尼古烟草的变种。
Nicotiana此处指植物分类学中的烟草属,包含烟草等六十余个物种。据 《读者指南》:Pipe-weed here substitutes for tobacco, though Tolkien's mention of Nicotiana indicates that they are one and the same; or rather, that pipe-weed refers to the same group of plants, tobacco being the name for any plant of the genus Nicotiana. 因此当译为“很可能是烟草属的某个变种。”
----------------
◉I.1 盼望已久的宴会
But there was also a generous distribution of squibs, crackers, backarappers, sparklers, torches, dwarf-candles, elf-fountains, goblin-barkers and thunderclaps.
不过,还有一大批爆竹、鞭炮、筒炮、烟花、火炬、矮人蜡烛、精灵喷泉、兽人吼炮、霹雳响炮,分给了大家施放。
据《读者指南》:A squib is a small firework which burns with a hissing sound. A cracker explodes with a sharp noise. A backarapper is a firecracker with several folds, which results in a rapid series of explosions. A sparkler is a sparkling (not explosive) firework held in the hand. Torch in fireworks parlance is a slowburning wax candle used to illuminate the area in which fireworks are prepared. 宜译作:冲天炮、大爆竹、双响炮、烟花棒、照明烛
-----------------
Hundreds of musical crackers had been pulled. Most of them bore the mark DALE on them; which did not convey much to most of the hobbits, but they all agreed they were marvellous crackers. They contained instruments, small, but of perfect make and enchanting tones.
数百个音乐响炮被拉爆,炮上大多印着大写的“河谷城”—这个名称对绝大多数霍比特人来说都没意义,但有一点他们都是赞同的:这些里头包着制作精巧、音调迷人的小乐器的响炮真是棒极了。
我本以为是爆竹里面有乐器,百思不得其解。其实这里指的是英国的Christmas cracker,译作“拉炮”似乎好些。后文收拾垃圾时的"cracker-paper/爆竹的碎纸"也应当译作拉炮包装纸
-----------------
◉I.3 三人为伴
杉木当译作冷杉
----------------------
Not far from the road-meeting they came on the huge hulk of a tree: it was still alive and had leaves on the small branches that it had put out round the broken stumps of its long-fallen limbs; but it was hollow, and could be entered by a great crack on the side away from the road. The hobbits crept inside, and sat there upon a floor of old leaves and decayed wood.
离岔路口不远,他们碰上了一棵巨树的残躯。它还活着,那些早已折断的树枝,断处四周冒出的小枝仍长着树叶。不过它是中空的,可从朝着路那面的一道大裂口进去。三个霍比特人爬了进去,在铺着朽木和枯叶的地面坐下。
当译作“可从背着路那面的一道大裂口进去。三个霍比特人爬了进去,就着朽木和枯叶席地而坐。”正因为路上看不到,才会躲到树洞里吃东西。
--------------------------
◉I.4 蘑菇捷径
Puddifoots译作了圆足家。《命名指南》曰: Puddifoot. Surname in the muddy Marish. Meant to suggest puddle + foot. Translate. 可知puddle指的应该是泽地中的泥水坑,宜译作“泥足”。
----------------------------
◉I.6 老林子
stalky and faded hemlocks and wood-parsley, fire-weed seeding into fluffy ashes,
长茎的野芹,浅色的西芹,种子播撒进松软灰烬里的火后杂草
《读者指南》认为这里提到的wood-parsley和fire-weed是cow parsley (Anthriscus sylvestris)和Epilobium angustifolium。《中洲植物志》则认为是cow parsley和Chamerion angustifolium。故当译作“长茎褪色的毒芹和峨参”。
--------------------------
◉I.7 汤姆·邦巴迪尔之家
He opened the door, and they followed him down a short passage and round a sharp turn. They came to a low room with a sloping roof (a penthouse, it seemed, built on to the north end of the house).
他打开门,他们跟着他穿过短短的走廊,便来到一个屋顶倾斜又低矮的房间(看起来像阁楼,建在这屋的北边)。
penthouse有两个意思,架在屋顶的阁楼和倚墙而建的披屋,这里显然是后者。当译作“看起来像披屋,建在这屋的北边”。
----------------------------
They heard of the Great Barrows, and the green mounds, and the stone-rings upon the hills and in the hollows among the hills...Stone rings grinned out of the ground like broken teeth in the moonlight.
他们听他讲起了大古冢和座座青坟丘,还有山岗上和山间洼地里的岩石环……一圈圈墓石裸露出地面,月光下犹如缺损的烂牙在狞笑。
两个stone-ring译法不一致。这里的灵感来源显然是英国的巨石阵,仪式用,未必是墓石,可译作“岩石圆阵”。
----------------------
◉I.9 跃马客栈
It had a front on the Road, and two wings running back on land partly cut out of the lower slopes of the hill, so that at the rear the second-floor windows were level with the ground.
它面对大道,两翼的厢房向后延伸,由于地基有一部分是取自后方更低些的山坡,因此后边厢房的二楼窗户正好与地面平齐。
英国的second-floor是三楼,后文还出现了ground floor可证(译作了“楼的底层”,其实直接译作一楼就行)。前文说了“布理镇上约有百来栋大种人的石砌屋,大多数坐落在俯瞰大道的山坡上……在大道向右拐,绕过山脚处的路边上,有一座很大的客栈”,可知客栈在山脚而非山顶。所谓“窗户与地面平齐”,指的应该是山坡处的地面抬高到跟三楼一样高了。当译作“由于地基有一部分是建在山坡上,因此后边厢房的三楼窗户正好与坡面平齐。”
-----------------------
‘Here is a nice little parlour!’
“这是间舒适的小客厅!”
误译。parlor有好几个意思,这里指的是酒店里的包厢雅座。
----------------------
In a twinkling the table was laid. There was hot soup, cold meats, a blackberry tart, new loaves, slabs of butter, and half a ripe cheese
饭菜眨眼间摆好,有热汤、冷肉、黑莓果馅饼、新出炉的面包、厚厚的一块块奶油、半块熟奶酪,
误译。应为黄油。
------------------------
The men of Bree seemed all to have rather botanical (and to the Shire-folk rather odd) names, like Rushlight, Goatleaf, Heathertoes, Appledore, Thistlewool and Ferny (not to mention Butterbur).
布理的人类,姓氏似乎全都跟植物有关(这在夏尔人看来相当古怪),比如灯芯草、金银花、石楠趾、苹果树、蓟羊毛和蕨尼(不用说,还有黄油菊)。
“金银花”不妥,因为英国不产金银花(Japanese honeysuckle, golden-and-silver honeysuckle)。据《中洲植物志》,这里说的goatleaf,是东亚金银花的欧洲亲戚goatleaf honeysuckle,开红花。可直译为“山羊叶”或意译为“羊叶忍冬”。
-----------------------
Some of the hobbits had similar names. The Mugworts, for instance, seemed numerous. But most of them had natural names, such as Banks, Brockhouse, Longholes, Sandheaver, and Tunnelly,
有些霍比特人也有类似的名字,比如有不少人姓艾蒿;不过大多数人都是一般姓氏,比如河岸、獾屋、长洞、挑沙和隧道
这里的霍比特人姓氏都与穴居习俗有关,唯一问题是Bank不该是河岸,因为他们不可能在河岸挖洞住。其实bank还有个意思是斜坡。据《命名指南》:“Banks. Clearly a topographical name containing bank in the sense 'steep slope or hill-side'. It should be represented by something similar.” 故应译作“山坡”。
--------------------
Will Whitfoot, the Mayor, and the fattest hobbit in the Westfarthing, had been buried in chalk, and came out like a floured dumpling.
当时市长威尔·白足,也就是西区最胖的霍比特人,被埋在白硅粉里,出来时活像个滚满面粉的汤团。
误译。应为白垩粉。
--------------------
I.11 暗夜白刃
长脚佬应为长腿佬。大陆流行的译名也是长腿爱德华
-------------------
读完卷二再更……
◉楔子
-----------------
Before the crossing of the mountains the Hobbits had already become divided into three somewhat different breeds: Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallohides.
霍比特人在翻越山脉之前,已经分化成三个略有区别的族群:毛脚族、斯图尔族和白肤族。毛脚族肤色较深,体型更小也更矮,他们没有胡须,不穿鞋子,手脚整洁又敏捷,偏爱高地和山丘。斯图尔族体型更宽,身体更强壮,手脚也都更大,偏爱平地和河畔。白肤族肤色更加白皙,发色更浅,比另外两族更高,也苗条一些,热爱树木和林地。
《〈魔戒〉名称指南》要求Harfoots和Fallohides意译,Stoors音译,不过这样看起来体例不统一了。
Stoors. Name of a third kind of hobbit, of heavier build. This is early E. star, stoor 'large, strong', now obsolete. Since it is thus supposed to be a special hobbit-word not current in CS, it need not be translated, and may be represented by a more or less 'phonetic' spelling according to the LT use of letters. But an archaic or dialectal word of this sense in the LT would also be acceptable.
其实《名称指南》也没有坚持一定要音译,说了用古语或方言意译也可接受。不妨译成彊壮族、健躯族之类。这样三个族群的名称都能对应其特征。
------------------
which they called pipe-weed or leaf, a variety probably of Nicotiana.
这种药草他们称作烟斗草或烟叶,很可能是尼古烟草的变种。
Nicotiana此处指植物分类学中的烟草属,包含烟草等六十余个物种。据 《读者指南》:Pipe-weed here substitutes for tobacco, though Tolkien's mention of Nicotiana indicates that they are one and the same; or rather, that pipe-weed refers to the same group of plants, tobacco being the name for any plant of the genus Nicotiana. 因此当译为“很可能是烟草属的某个变种。”
----------------
◉I.1 盼望已久的宴会
But there was also a generous distribution of squibs, crackers, backarappers, sparklers, torches, dwarf-candles, elf-fountains, goblin-barkers and thunderclaps.
不过,还有一大批爆竹、鞭炮、筒炮、烟花、火炬、矮人蜡烛、精灵喷泉、兽人吼炮、霹雳响炮,分给了大家施放。
据《读者指南》:A squib is a small firework which burns with a hissing sound. A cracker explodes with a sharp noise. A backarapper is a firecracker with several folds, which results in a rapid series of explosions. A sparkler is a sparkling (not explosive) firework held in the hand. Torch in fireworks parlance is a slowburning wax candle used to illuminate the area in which fireworks are prepared. 宜译作:冲天炮、大爆竹、双响炮、烟花棒、照明烛
-----------------
Hundreds of musical crackers had been pulled. Most of them bore the mark DALE on them; which did not convey much to most of the hobbits, but they all agreed they were marvellous crackers. They contained instruments, small, but of perfect make and enchanting tones.
数百个音乐响炮被拉爆,炮上大多印着大写的“河谷城”—这个名称对绝大多数霍比特人来说都没意义,但有一点他们都是赞同的:这些里头包着制作精巧、音调迷人的小乐器的响炮真是棒极了。
我本以为是爆竹里面有乐器,百思不得其解。其实这里指的是英国的Christmas cracker,译作“拉炮”似乎好些。后文收拾垃圾时的"cracker-paper/爆竹的碎纸"也应当译作拉炮包装纸
-----------------
◉I.3 三人为伴
杉木当译作冷杉
----------------------
Not far from the road-meeting they came on the huge hulk of a tree: it was still alive and had leaves on the small branches that it had put out round the broken stumps of its long-fallen limbs; but it was hollow, and could be entered by a great crack on the side away from the road. The hobbits crept inside, and sat there upon a floor of old leaves and decayed wood.
离岔路口不远,他们碰上了一棵巨树的残躯。它还活着,那些早已折断的树枝,断处四周冒出的小枝仍长着树叶。不过它是中空的,可从朝着路那面的一道大裂口进去。三个霍比特人爬了进去,在铺着朽木和枯叶的地面坐下。
当译作“可从背着路那面的一道大裂口进去。三个霍比特人爬了进去,就着朽木和枯叶席地而坐。”正因为路上看不到,才会躲到树洞里吃东西。
--------------------------
◉I.4 蘑菇捷径
Puddifoots译作了圆足家。《命名指南》曰: Puddifoot. Surname in the muddy Marish. Meant to suggest puddle + foot. Translate. 可知puddle指的应该是泽地中的泥水坑,宜译作“泥足”。
----------------------------
◉I.6 老林子
stalky and faded hemlocks and wood-parsley, fire-weed seeding into fluffy ashes,
长茎的野芹,浅色的西芹,种子播撒进松软灰烬里的火后杂草
《读者指南》认为这里提到的wood-parsley和fire-weed是cow parsley (Anthriscus sylvestris)和Epilobium angustifolium。《中洲植物志》则认为是cow parsley和Chamerion angustifolium。故当译作“长茎褪色的毒芹和峨参”。
--------------------------
◉I.7 汤姆·邦巴迪尔之家
He opened the door, and they followed him down a short passage and round a sharp turn. They came to a low room with a sloping roof (a penthouse, it seemed, built on to the north end of the house).
他打开门,他们跟着他穿过短短的走廊,便来到一个屋顶倾斜又低矮的房间(看起来像阁楼,建在这屋的北边)。
penthouse有两个意思,架在屋顶的阁楼和倚墙而建的披屋,这里显然是后者。当译作“看起来像披屋,建在这屋的北边”。
----------------------------
They heard of the Great Barrows, and the green mounds, and the stone-rings upon the hills and in the hollows among the hills...Stone rings grinned out of the ground like broken teeth in the moonlight.
他们听他讲起了大古冢和座座青坟丘,还有山岗上和山间洼地里的岩石环……一圈圈墓石裸露出地面,月光下犹如缺损的烂牙在狞笑。
两个stone-ring译法不一致。这里的灵感来源显然是英国的巨石阵,仪式用,未必是墓石,可译作“岩石圆阵”。
----------------------
◉I.9 跃马客栈
It had a front on the Road, and two wings running back on land partly cut out of the lower slopes of the hill, so that at the rear the second-floor windows were level with the ground.
它面对大道,两翼的厢房向后延伸,由于地基有一部分是取自后方更低些的山坡,因此后边厢房的二楼窗户正好与地面平齐。
英国的second-floor是三楼,后文还出现了ground floor可证(译作了“楼的底层”,其实直接译作一楼就行)。前文说了“布理镇上约有百来栋大种人的石砌屋,大多数坐落在俯瞰大道的山坡上……在大道向右拐,绕过山脚处的路边上,有一座很大的客栈”,可知客栈在山脚而非山顶。所谓“窗户与地面平齐”,指的应该是山坡处的地面抬高到跟三楼一样高了。当译作“由于地基有一部分是建在山坡上,因此后边厢房的三楼窗户正好与坡面平齐。”
-----------------------
‘Here is a nice little parlour!’
“这是间舒适的小客厅!”
误译。parlor有好几个意思,这里指的是酒店里的包厢雅座。
----------------------
In a twinkling the table was laid. There was hot soup, cold meats, a blackberry tart, new loaves, slabs of butter, and half a ripe cheese
饭菜眨眼间摆好,有热汤、冷肉、黑莓果馅饼、新出炉的面包、厚厚的一块块奶油、半块熟奶酪,
误译。应为黄油。
------------------------
The men of Bree seemed all to have rather botanical (and to the Shire-folk rather odd) names, like Rushlight, Goatleaf, Heathertoes, Appledore, Thistlewool and Ferny (not to mention Butterbur).
布理的人类,姓氏似乎全都跟植物有关(这在夏尔人看来相当古怪),比如灯芯草、金银花、石楠趾、苹果树、蓟羊毛和蕨尼(不用说,还有黄油菊)。
“金银花”不妥,因为英国不产金银花(Japanese honeysuckle, golden-and-silver honeysuckle)。据《中洲植物志》,这里说的goatleaf,是东亚金银花的欧洲亲戚goatleaf honeysuckle,开红花。可直译为“山羊叶”或意译为“羊叶忍冬”。
-----------------------
Some of the hobbits had similar names. The Mugworts, for instance, seemed numerous. But most of them had natural names, such as Banks, Brockhouse, Longholes, Sandheaver, and Tunnelly,
有些霍比特人也有类似的名字,比如有不少人姓艾蒿;不过大多数人都是一般姓氏,比如河岸、獾屋、长洞、挑沙和隧道
这里的霍比特人姓氏都与穴居习俗有关,唯一问题是Bank不该是河岸,因为他们不可能在河岸挖洞住。其实bank还有个意思是斜坡。据《命名指南》:“Banks. Clearly a topographical name containing bank in the sense 'steep slope or hill-side'. It should be represented by something similar.” 故应译作“山坡”。
--------------------
Will Whitfoot, the Mayor, and the fattest hobbit in the Westfarthing, had been buried in chalk, and came out like a floured dumpling.
当时市长威尔·白足,也就是西区最胖的霍比特人,被埋在白硅粉里,出来时活像个滚满面粉的汤团。
误译。应为白垩粉。
--------------------
I.11 暗夜白刃
长脚佬应为长腿佬。大陆流行的译名也是长腿爱德华
-------------------
读完卷二再更……