写得好

又开了一项大工程，打算写纪念海燕的长诗
不出意料会在今年11月3日在台风吧发
差不多写了一半，然后发现不会写了
最近发现总是词穷，一直找不到什么好句，押韵也很难所以在轩吧先开一个写草稿的贴
很希望大家能给我这个学术垃圾多多提出意见，一起集思广益

先把定稿的部分写出来吧
Out of the low-lats came a token clear:
A burst of convection was seen to appear.
-What would become after many a day
-A flawless disk of Cold Dark Gray.

The seas were warm; the shear was light.
Cloud-tops were thrust up to a dazzling height.
With double-channel outflow and moisture fair
Unbreaking flow of warming air
Rose up ever higher in the typhoon's heart.
Brilliant showers fell like rains of darts.
-Even far away in Palau, great palm trees
Wavered and billowed in the cool autumn breeze.

The world was fair; the mountains tall
In the year 2013 in the latter days of fall
When Francisco and Lekima had just raged across
The Pacific; yet the entire basin was still at a loss
For the North Indian Ocean had just usurped the throne;
In the tropical world Cyclone Phailin stood all alone.

Though typhoons Soulik, Utor and Usagi
Slashed across Asian coasts in a storm of frenzy
Raging with unprecedented fury unfurled
Over the high seas of the tropical world
Yet against Cyclone Phailin no one could rival.
However, by the time of November's arrival
Thousands of miles of warm water the Pacific withheld;
Dim shear and warm OHCs all the way was felt
To warm pools east of the Philippines in the last month of fall
Where lay the island of Samar clad in palm trees tall
And the city of Tacloban glistening at daybreak;
A great port of adamant in the Leyte Gulf;
A city that has denied many typhoons the way.
-The world was fair in Phailin's day.

Across the Micronesian Islands the storm began its flight;
Upon the high seas with a crown of stars alight.
As pearl-white clouds clashed and combined
The tphoon's eyewall grew ever more defined;
The light of sun and moon alone
Upon the typhoon's overcast shone;
Beneath her wings lay the Pacific deep and far
Mirrored in a cascade of glimmering stars.

Convection the storm thurst up; tall and proud;
Billowing out mighty pillared walls of cloud;
Encircling the storm's core in a torrent of thunder
as the typhoon churns the skies and the sea down under;

然后写到这里就写不下去了

结尾部分倒是写好了，先放这里：
The storm was gone; at last came peace
Though an entire city has been brought down to its knees.
In the aftermath silence stalled over the air-
-A shadow of doom, disquiet and despair
Falls upon the maimed city of Tacloban.
With the setting sun comes hope ever waned
In the hearts of people who’ve had the courage to survive.
Months or years would pass by before they could return
To their normal lives in the Tacloban that they had always known.
-The place of which they had once called home.

At dusk great pillars of thick black smoke
Wound up through the air like serpents awoke.
Blotting out the sky as ever higher they loomed;
Till all of the city was engulfed in a great sunken gloom
Though a slow wind blew in mournfully from afar.
At sunset red fell the dew in Leyte and Samar
When night falls on November 9th, 2013.
Devestation and desolation as once had been forseen
Spread as the last rays of the sun faded from sight.
The reek of death arose as day turned to night;
While on the dark coastline silent waves churned.
-An apocalyptic landscape as Tacloban burned.

In all the storm accounted for
Seven thousand deaths or maybe more
For many their lives will never be the same
From that day on when the typhoon came.
Every weatherwatcher will remember the date
When Tacloban saw her hour of fate.
The name of the storm we will never forget-
-About Typhoon HAIYAN
the Philippines
will ever regret.

The world is grey, the mountains old.
West-Pac’s SSTs are ashen-cold.
No invests are found; dead silence falls.
The darkness dwells in Haiyan’s halls.
The basin is clad in deepening gloom-
-La Nina’s footsteps following a year of doom.

Yet still the sunken stars appear
In the Pacific waters far and near.
In our heart, there lay faith deep-
-That Haiyan will once again wake from sleep.